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sacred feminine

spirituality

When the Virgin Mary is on your front porch

August 8, 2016

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being. – Hafiz

 

In every workshop or retreat I have taught at, every online group I have been part of, and every gathering of women, the question of deserving has always come up.

The more I think about it, the more I think that this is the biggest block to us following our dreams.

We think we don’t deserve them.

We believe that we aren’t good enough to deserve love/ good things/ magic/ miracles because of something that happened in our past, and it’s just being proven to us by our new belief in the Law of Attraction.

Because now if bad things happen, or good things don’t happen, not only do I not deserve it because I am somehow a bad person/ unlovable, I am also to blame because I didn’t believe or attract enough. It’s a double-dose of un-deserving.

So no matter what, we suck. It’s bloody exhausting, but we keep doing it – believing in our undeservingness – and beating ourselves to an emotional pulp. So let’s do an experiment and try something else for a minute, because, as Dr. Phil would say: ‘How’s that working for ya?’

When people talk to me about us moving here, they get a funny look in their eye and they tell me how brave or how lucky or even how crazy we are. Know what? We’re not. We are scared. We are freaking out. We look at each other and question our decision every single day. But we never questioned – not once – whether or not we deserved to want this.

Why? Because I choose to no longer believe in the concept of deserving. It definitely doesn’t make things easier, but it sure makes things better.

The change happened for me when I decided to play with believing in a benevolent universe. I started asking, ‘what if?’ What if I deserve to follow my dreams just because I am here? What if I am allowed to believe in miracles just because I got born? What if I am a deeply loved, held, and a tiny piece of the divine having a human experience?

What if there was actually no such thing as not deserving? What then?

Adding ‘what if’ to any thought makes it much more playful. You aren’t committing to the thought, you are just checking it out. Your brain begins to look for answers; for proof. It doesn’t like not knowing something. And as you let yourself play with what ifs, the world opens up and the what ifs get deeper, richer, and more powerful – until you find yourself asking, ‘what if we were to totally change our lives. What then?’

So what if the universe/ the divine/ God/ Goddess/ spirit/ or even the Virgin Mary was actually present in your life all of the time as a loving presence? What would you do differently? What if you and Mary had a standing date for tea and all she ever wanted to do was talk about how beloved you are; not because of something you did or didn’t do, and regardless of what was going on in your life. Would you look at her and tell her all of the ways it wasn’t true? Or would you believe her because – well – she’s the Virgin Mary? What if, just for a moment at a time, you played with believing that it was true?

So I’ll ask you again:

What if there was no such thing as not deserving? What then?

xo

Heart & Hearth, sacred

Heart and Hearth

October 24, 2014

Groups run by women are our psychic turf; our place to discover who we are, or who we could become, as whole  independent beings. Somewhere in our lives, each of us needs a free place. A little psychic territory. Do you have yours? – Gloria Steinem ~ Outrageous Acts and Everyday Rebellions

 

This year has taught me about the true power of intention. Not – ‘I want a red bicycle’ from The Secret – intention, but pure ‘this is how I want to feel’ intention.

A little over a year ago, I stood beside the fire at our first Redfox retreat. I had spent the days before marvelling at how much of our intention that the retreat be nourishing and nurturing had come true. I also knew as deep in my bones as knowing goes, that I was where I was supposed to be. Retreats. Women’s circles. Gatherings. My soul was singing to me as clear as could be.

But then I got scared. Really scared. Sometimes when you see the power of an intention coming true – when you prove to yourself that magic is real – then the safest thing to do is run as fast as you can back to your smallness. My Big Dream was way too big and scary for me to believe in.

But as I stood beside the fire and watched the faces of the other women, I stepped forward and called in movement. I called in deep, real change. (More on the outcome of that next week!) And I felt a shock of energy hit me. The power of real, honest intention held by a circle of women was actually electric. I remember looking across the circle of light and catching Sas‘ eye and feeling so rooted in the magic of intention and friendship, I wished every women could know – as I knew in that moment – that they are more powerful than they can possibly imagine.

But it all started with intention and a circle of women. 

So a few weeks ago when Sas and I were talking late one night about dreams and the sacred and magic, we conjured another circle. We wanted more women to feel what we felt as we circled together. We wanted to bring together some of the most heart-full women we could be brave enough to ask, and have them join us by the fire. We wanted to bring light and peace to the time before the holidays. We wanted to give women a series of precious gifts that they could open again and again, whenever they needed to – with absolutely nothing to do in return. We wanted to bring the sacred back to a time when pulling off the perfect Christmas seems to be more important than the return of the light.

And with that intention, Heart and Hearth was born. And amazing women from all over the world said yes, they would love to participate. And incredible women all over the world are signing up to join us. I hope you will too.

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Sacred Feminine, wise words

Friday Passage – Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD

October 10, 2014

One of my great loves in this world is language, so I have decided that on a Friday I will share a bit of writing that caught my imagination and stayed with me long after the book was closed.

 

 HOW TO COMPREHEND HER, BE CLOSE TO HER [The Holy Mother]

The exotic locale is not necessary to apprehend her. She is
found in a shard of glass, in a broken curb, in a hurt heart, and
in any soul knowing or unknowing, yet crazy in love with the
mysteries, with the divine spark, the creative fire – and not
quite so in love with mundane and petty challenges only.

Think of her not in the ways you’ve been told/ sold.
Rather, seek her with your own eyes without blinders
and your own heart without shutters.
Look low instead of high.
Look right under your nose.
She comes in many guises and disguises.
Hidden, right out in the open.
And you will know her immediately by her immaculate
and undivided heart for humanity.

– Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD, Untie the Strong Woman