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love

spirituality

When the Virgin Mary is on your front porch

August 8, 2016

I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in the darkness, the astonishing light of your own being. – Hafiz

 

In every workshop or retreat I have taught at, every online group I have been part of, and every gathering of women, the question of deserving has always come up.

The more I think about it, the more I think that this is the biggest block to us following our dreams.

We think we don’t deserve them.

We believe that we aren’t good enough to deserve love/ good things/ magic/ miracles because of something that happened in our past, and it’s just being proven to us by our new belief in the Law of Attraction.

Because now if bad things happen, or good things don’t happen, not only do I not deserve it because I am somehow a bad person/ unlovable, I am also to blame because I didn’t believe or attract enough. It’s a double-dose of un-deserving.

So no matter what, we suck. It’s bloody exhausting, but we keep doing it – believing in our undeservingness – and beating ourselves to an emotional pulp. So let’s do an experiment and try something else for a minute, because, as Dr. Phil would say: ‘How’s that working for ya?’

When people talk to me about us moving here, they get a funny look in their eye and they tell me how brave or how lucky or even how crazy we are. Know what? We’re not. We are scared. We are freaking out. We look at each other and question our decision every single day. But we never questioned – not once – whether or not we deserved to want this.

Why? Because I choose to no longer believe in the concept of deserving. It definitely doesn’t make things easier, but it sure makes things better.

The change happened for me when I decided to play with believing in a benevolent universe. I started asking, ‘what if?’ What if I deserve to follow my dreams just because I am here? What if I am allowed to believe in miracles just because I got born? What if I am a deeply loved, held, and a tiny piece of the divine having a human experience?

What if there was actually no such thing as not deserving? What then?

Adding ‘what if’ to any thought makes it much more playful. You aren’t committing to the thought, you are just checking it out. Your brain begins to look for answers; for proof. It doesn’t like not knowing something. And as you let yourself play with what ifs, the world opens up and the what ifs get deeper, richer, and more powerful – until you find yourself asking, ‘what if we were to totally change our lives. What then?’

So what if the universe/ the divine/ God/ Goddess/ spirit/ or even the Virgin Mary was actually present in your life all of the time as a loving presence? What would you do differently? What if you and Mary had a standing date for tea and all she ever wanted to do was talk about how beloved you are; not because of something you did or didn’t do, and regardless of what was going on in your life. Would you look at her and tell her all of the ways it wasn’t true? Or would you believe her because – well – she’s the Virgin Mary? What if, just for a moment at a time, you played with believing that it was true?

So I’ll ask you again:

What if there was no such thing as not deserving? What then?

xo

inspiring women

Welcome, Friends! (An Invocation)

May 20, 2016
Every Tuesday morning I meet with a group of women and we talk about marriage and friendship and community. And we also talk about faith and doubt and the condition of our spirits. We make space for all the leanings of our lives. They are my ardenthearted and I am forever grateful to be walking with them. ~ Alisha Sommer

 

This week, the wondrous Alisha Sommer wrote the piece above about a group of her friends. It struck a deep chord in my heart and I knew it was something I needed to think about some more. We are committing to this place and we are about to begin building our dream. My physical world is about to get far more man-full in the next 6-12 months.

And I am finally ready to fill it with just as many, or more, women. Women who I can meet face-to-face.  I am officially calling in my own ardenthearted group of women.

I am a big believer in behaving like it has already happened, so here is my invitation, my love letter, and my invocation. Universe, I ask for this, or something better!


 

Dear You,

Thank you! Thank you for being my friend.

Thank you for holding my heart with tenderness and fierceness and respect and love.

Thank you for not giving a shit if my – or your – house is clean.

Thank you for being there when it matters – and knowing when that is.

Thank you for talking with me about spirituality and faith and doubt and creativity and inspiration.

Thank you for meeting up to talk about absolutely nothing important – just because we like to hang out.

Thank you for occasionally talking with me about moving to an all-female commune, and equally not being threatened or annoyed when I want to talk about how much I love my husband.

Thank you for absolutely and always having my back.

Thank you for shared coffee or tea or green juice or smoothies or wine or margaritas or whatever it is we need most at the time.

Thank you for honesty and sass and spirit and tears and hand-holding and ass-kicking and silliness and shrewdness and kindness and fun.

Thank you for having a full life of your own and understanding that if sometimes we don’t talk for days, it is nothing personal.

Thank you for knowing that this doesn’t mean I don’t love you.

Thank you for understanding if I never cook for you. Truly. I’m terrible at it.

Thank you for being a part of a rich, supportive, growing circle of friends; of a community of amazing men and women. We are so lucky to be here, now!

Thank you for inspiring me with your heart and your contribution.

Thank you for making me laugh so hard and so much.

Thank you for knowing me. Seeing me. Getting me.

Mostly, thank you for finding me.

I love you!

xomeghan

 

 

Unfurl, writing

Letting Go

April 19, 2014

“Ask yourself which fear is stronger. What are you more afraid of: changing, or staying how you are now?”

 

Unfurl resultsJust inside of my book, there is a note from me. It states that when I was writing Unfurl, I had the strangest feeling that I was writing it for someone specific. It didn’t feel like it was mine. It felt like it also belonged to the person I was writing it for. There are even parts of the book that I don’t remember writing.

When I finally let go of chasing the traditional publishing route and decided to self-publish, things began to flow so quickly and easily that I couldn’t believe I had wasted so much time waiting. I started to beat myself up with guilt and shame and then I remembered with a bump that everything happens in its own time.

Maybe I wasn’t ready to hold space for this book. Maybe the person for whom I was writing wasn’t ready to read it. Maybe the world wasn’t ready for it. Maybe, just maybe, it wanted to be born on the day of the Blood Moon (it was – but I didn’t do it on purpose).

So I tried very hard to let go. When I released Unfurl to the world, all I asked was that it go directly from my heart to the heart of anyone who needed to hear what it has to say.  I hoped that it would find its readers, and in doing that would find its Reader. I hoped that in some small way my words would inspire someone else to follow their dreams and for them to bring light into the world.

Big dreams for a small book, I know!

I thought I had let go, but as I hadn’t told my brother about it yet, I wanted to hold on until he’d seen it – and it wasn’t supposed to be available for 5 – 7 days. I tried to control that. Then I put one sneaky shot on Instagram and I lost control – in the best possible way!

And then something even better happened!

Friends, family, friends of friends and family, people I haven’t seen or talked to in YEARS, and women who I have connected deeply with but never actually met in person, bought it. They bought it. They talked about it. With no advertising or launch (mostly because it happened a week earlier than I thought it would) with freebies or hoopla of any kind, it reached the top 5 in ‘Hot New Releases in Metaphysical’ writing category. Now I know Metaphysical writing is a tough category 😉  – but it is amazing because Love put it there. Love and connection and friendship and kinship.

And that is all I ever wanted.

So I am now really letting go; I got the message the second time. Unfurl is free to do what it wants to do. It is free to find the hearts it needs to find. I wish it nothing but love.

And if you bought a copy? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.