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fire

fire

Clearing the Hearth

September 19, 2014

When a hearth is choked with ash and buried memories, it is difficult to sustain fire. We sweep the hearth with our acceptance and understanding of what has been passed on to us from our ancestors. We do this for ourselves, our family, and for the future. – Anne Scott, Serving Fire

 

Last weekend Mark and I decided it was time to do a little bit of radical cleaning. I’ve done enough reading about energy to know that the home is a reflection of what is going on inside. So apparently my insides were quite dusty, cluttered, and even a little bit mouldy.

hearthmeghangengeNot. Good.

So we gave the day over to the kind of cleaning that first creates complete and utter chaos, and I was in charge of the bedroom.

When we first moved into this house it had no heating (that we were allowed to use) apart from the fireplace in the living room. Without proper heating, we soon discovered that any heat that we did manage to get into the house promptly went straight up each of the other three chimneys. So a quick trip to a housewares store equipped us with a dozen pillows which we promptly stuffed up the chimneys. In an attempt to further stop the cold air that also came down the chimneys, we put things in front of the fireplaces – in the case of the one in the bedroom (pictured), it was an unused bulletin board.

And so it went for a hundred years. Or that is what it felt like. Eventually we got central heating. Then we got insulation in our ceiling. Then, finally, a lining for our roof. But the barriers remained firmly in place. Walls: up. We had all but forgotten that there were fireplaces there.

Which brings us to last week. As Mark came in to help me clean, he picked up the bulletin board and said, “Do we really need this anymore?” And I laughed out loud because there it was: the hearth in my bedroom – always there, but completely unnoticed – uncovered not three weeks after I began working with Hestia. Uncovered not two weeks after I had talked late into the night with a dear friend about the importance of the hearth and the heart. Uncovered not one week after I began a new novel all about all of it: the hearth, the heart, fire, and magic.

Sometimes you have to shake your head in wonder at yourself, the universe and everything.

fire

Inviting Hestia

August 7, 2014

” …hearthkeeping is a means through which a woman puts her self and her house in order.” – Jean Shinoda Bolen, Goddesses in Every Woman

 

fire meghan gengeWhen I wrote two weeks ago about going into the flames, I was fully committed to following the fire wherever it led me.

I should have known better.

Just before I began my research into the connection between women and fire, three different things happened. The first thing was a conversation between my husband and I as I stood in the kitchen, barely containing my rage. Why was I so angry? Because I was cooking.

I hate cooking. I hate doing the dishes. I even hate helping someone else in the kitchen. I have written about this before, but believe me when I say that this is real. When I have to do anything in the kitchen I seethe with resentment. I have been known to burst into frustrated tears over getting breakfast on the plate. Me in the kitchen is not a pretty thing.

So there I was, standing in the kitchen, up to my eyes in gluten free béchamel sauce and stuck-together gluten free lasagne noodles, on the verge of hysterical tears, and my long-suffering husband says, “You know you are going to have to deal with this at some point right?”

Very helpful.

The second thing happened the next morning when I got on the scale and found that even after almost 2 months doing the exercise program Insanity, I hadn’t lost a pound. Not one. (And yes, I realize that lasagne wasn’t the best choice on a diet – but still!)

The third thing happened only a few hours later. I opened the first book in my research pile and met Hestia.

Hestia: the first-born Olympian. Goddess of the hearth. Hestia was rarely personified. Her symbol and her presence was the hearth fire.  Hestia is domesticity, home-keeping and hearth-tending. In her book, Goddesses in Every Woman, Jean Shinoda Bolen says, “In order for a house to become a home, Hestia’s presence was required.”

I am about as far removed from Hestia as it is possible to be. If I was to choose an archetype to symbolise me, she would not be the obvious choice. But as I sat there, following my heart to the fire, I knew that I had to start somewhere I hadn’t expected. I knew I had to start with me.

If I want to lose weight, I have to take responsibility for my own nourishment. If I want to find a home, I have to create one. If I want to build a fire, I have to light the match.

Before I can gather women around a fire, I have to take responsibility for my own hearth.

Welcome, Hestia.  I’m ready.

xo

 

 

 

fire, sacred

Glowing Coals

July 21, 2014

Remember, you are not here to play it safe. You are here to start fires.Sera Beak

 

A few months ago I went with three friends to see a Shaman. In one of the sessions she referred to us as the four elements. Somehow we all instinctively knew exactly which one we were. As a Scorpio/ Wood Tiger, I am technically not a fire sign. But Fire resonated so deeply with me that day, I’ve not really been the same since.

Fire.

I have always been afraid of fire. My mother’s house burned down when she was a little girl, and somehow that must have made it into my psyche, because I slept with all of my most precious things (two stuffed animals and two rag dolls) clutched in my arms – so that if a fire broke out, I could save them. Shortly after we moved here, we had a very scary chimney fire. I am also responsible for fire safety where I work. Fire as a theme is very much a part of my life.

I have also been feeling the negative qualities of Fire: burnout. Much is changing in our lives, but I can’t talk about it on here yet, so I feel torn between the decisions we are making and living honestly. I’m working full time, trying to write, trying to move my body, trying to learn a new language, trying to keep up with friendships, trying to be healthy, watching my 40th approaching in a matter of months; burned out and dry and brittle would be the words I would use to describe the situation here.

But Fire. Fire isn’t leaving me alone. The voice I hear inside of me is insistent. Fire is asking me to know it. To reclaim it. To nurture and tend it. To allow it to burn away what is no longer necessary. Fire is asking me to gather women around it. Where my vision boards of the past have been full of whimsical, magical, sacred images – now they are fierce and full of fire.

And I am not alone. Today I opened up Unabashedly Female and found this by Julie Daley:

As I wait, I hear a voice inside, an insistent voice, a fiery voice that is clear about what she wants. Shake it off. Shake everything off that is not true. Strip me bare of everything that hides my nature, that hides who I really am, like concrete laid out in large archaic patches across Mother Earth, keeping her bound, her bosoms unable to rise and fall with those magnificent in-breaths and out-breaths she takes as she prepares meals for her children. -Julie Daley

Fire.

There is a part of me that is still very afraid. Going into the flames is not for the faint hearted, but On Fire feels so much more powerful than burned out.

I am ready.