Browsing Tag

emerge

Alignment

90 Days of Showing Up

July 28, 2017

Warning: there’s a bit of swearing in this one. 😉

”I think midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I’m not screwing around. It’s time.” ~ Brene Brown

 

I’ve always been the girl with the plan. If I wanted to write a book or lose weight or start exercising or learn something, I would sit down and figure out where I wanted to be, then work backwards. If you were to open any past planner of mine, you would find at least one countdown on those pages.

But I never got there.

I never got to the end of the countdown with success. I never ended at my goal weight, I never wrote 50,000 words in a month and I never got to ten push-ups.

Why?

I think for four reasons:

  1. I’ve always been a bit rebellious and my ‘screwyouiwon’tdowhatyoutellme’ notion sadly even works on self-imposed rules.
  2. I was getting something out of staying where I was. If I never got there, I wouldn’t have to see what there meant.
  3. I bought whole-heartedly into the notion of ‘be gentle with yourself.’ But instead of doing that, I used it as an excuse to not show up if I didn’t feel like it or if I was tired or if or if or if…

And that’s all crap. Yep, all just excuses.

Yesterday I did a long guided meditation in which I asked my guides for the answer to a question. There is some stuff I want to clear, and this seemed like as good an idea as any. I went in, I sat at the feet of a guide, and I asked my question. The answer?

“Stop fucking around and show up.”

Not your usual answer, but I took it, mostly because I’ve been getting the same answer for weeks in my writing and my course creation and my journalling: just show up.

Over the past twenty-four hours, I have read the other part of that phrase four different times in four different places: stop fucking around.

Those words? Five times in two days? Really?

Today I counted – because that is what I do – and I realised that it is 90 days until my birthday. And within those 90 days, we will be moving into our house. Usually that would have me making a Plan and writing a goal in my diary.

But not today. Today I am admitting that that doesn’t work, and instead I am going to stop fucking around and just show up at the page. Every day. No matter what. No matter how I feel or where I have to go or what I have to do. Everything counts. This matters. My work matters.

I matter.

90 days of showing up. 90 days until my birthday. 90 days.

I can count that down.

It’s a good Plan.

xo

 

Costa Rica, Finding the Magic, I AM

Magic Happened.

May 10, 2017
plumeria blossoms

 

Today I am going to tell you a story about Magic.

Several years ago – and I can’t remember exactly how many, but it’s more than 5 – I was part of a wonderful coaching circle led by my friend Jamie Ridler. Jamie IS Magic, and the circle she led was all about us moving our creative dreams (and lives) forward.

plumeriaDuring one of the calls, Jamie had us visualise our future self. Now, I am more auditory than visual, so I have found visualising a challenge in the past, but Jamie always manages to get me to ‘see’ something.

I saw myself in a house. It was mostly white, open plan and all on one level. It was quite modern looking, which is weird because I always pictured myself in something else. There was a large deck around it and a walkway to it, kind of like a dock. I have always wanted a dock, so I intervened and put it onto a lake – because nothing else made sense to me.
The me that I saw in the house was wearing light clothes – I was even in a skirt. (Me?) I felt comfortable. Peaceful. Soft. Grounded. I knew who I was and what I was doing. My days were filled with love and creativity. I was connected to something more. Most of all, I felt a sense of freedom. I had stopped searching for something.

When Jamie gave us time to journal after the meditation, I sketched the house and then, over time, forgot about it.

Two years ago when we started picturing our house, we were going to build a wooden bali-inspired house, but in the living here and the understanding Costa Rica (especially that bugs LOVE to eat wood), we have changed our plans. Now the house we are building is an open-plan, one level, very white, kind-of square, modern house. With a huge deck that you have to walk across to get to the door.
(I’m sure YOU can see the connection, but I didn’t.)
my viewFast forward to last week. I was sitting on the couch with my husband and we were having a conversation about True things. We were quiet for a moment and out of somewhere I got a strange feeling of, ‘oh there you are!’ and felt this weird click.

In that moment I knew that somehow I had caught up to my future self; that we had finally come together and were now the same person. I had forgotten about the meditation, but in the middle of the click I remembered it and saw me and the house and all of it. I felt a strange sense of peace and what I can only describe as yesness.

Holy holy holy.

The most interesting part is that I never – not once – aimed at that image. The house was nothing like I thought I would live in – and I was in a skirt for heaven’s sake!  But for the past six or seven years I have been focusing on those feelings: Peace. Soft. Grounded. Knowing who I am. Love. Creativity. Connected to something more. Joy. Gratitude. Belief. Wonder. Transcendence. And Freedom: Magical Freedom.

I didn’t plan it, but somehow, even all of those years ago, I knew. Or someone or something did.

meghanIn that moment I could only sit and breathe and wonder, and it has taken me a few days to process it all. I feel different, and all I can feel right now is gratitude. There is so much more to all of this than we can possibly imagine. It’s a Mystery and a dance and a conversation.

Listen to your nudges. Listen to your feelings. Ask for help and signs and support and messages. Follow your instincts.

Find the Magic and it will take you places you can’t even imagine.

I love you.

Cahoots, Magic

Cahoots

April 12, 2017

 

in cahoots you do not have to be good

 

The dictionary definition of cahoots is: colluding or conspiring together secretly.

My own definition of being In Cahoots is: secretly conspiring with the Universe.

Being In Cahoots is about learning how to actively participate in all that is the adventure of your life. And it is an invitation to play with the fact that you are – in fact – a piece of the divine, having a human experience.

So many of us talk about feeling out-of-sorts, ashamed, unbalanced, unhappy, lost, lonely, frustrated, powerless, held back, or even afraid on a regular basis.

So many of us feel like an imposter, like at any moment we are going to be found out for our big fat lie. We are trying so hard to be better, to be a light, to change our lives, and yet we still ache.

We never seem to get… there.

Being In Cahoots is about reclaiming our power and our connection with what matters. It is about realising that the ‘there’ we are looking for is actually a completely fictional destination.

This isn’t to say that all of it is going to be glitter and champagne cocktails at sunset. Shit, as they say, happens. But I firmly believe that the only power we have in any moment is choice. In every moment the power lies in how you are going to react to whatever is happening.

Being In Cahoots is about making better choices. It’s about learning how to stop chasing and start creating. It’s about a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your step. It’s about the magic of knowing that you are totally supported.

It’s about cultivating your powers of wonder and curiosity and love and then living from there. Every day.

It’s about playing with the Universe.

Do you want to play?