“If anything at all were possible, how would you live your life?” – Christiane Northrup
I remember going to visit one of my Uncles when I was about 12. He had the most amazing music collection. To me all of those albums felt like magic. I can trace the growth of my CD/ download collection back to the moment I stood in his living room and realized that I wanted a cool music collection too. Can jealousy help us become who we are?
I started working at a summer camp when I was 16. One of the older counsellors was so cool. She wore converse shoes with huge socks (hey, it was the early 90s!) and the coolest clothing I had ever seen. I bought converse shoes on my first break, and wore them with huge socks. A year later I arrived at camp with a wardrobe and good friends of my own and watched as the younger staff copied the fashion of the older generation. Was it really about shoes?
In January 2006 I saw the adventure that some of my favorite bloggers had when they met in person. A week after they met, Swirly wrote a post that galvanized me to start my own blog. In the years since, I have made some incredible friends – and yes – I have even met some in person! It was jealousy that cracked me open enough to be brave.
The thing I am learning on my journey to create my wings is that every emotion is actually a message. Jealousy is nothing more than realizing that there is something that you want for yourself. I know it wasn’t about music or shoes or being friends with those specific women. Jealousy was me wanting to be more than I was. I wanted to be cool, to be accepted, to have my own tribe of women to meet. By listening to jealousy’s whispers, I have made decisions and choices that have made me who I am.
Now I think it is exciting when I get jealous! Jealousy does not take away from how happy I am for other people when they do well – I think it actually makes me a better friend – I can be thrilled for them knowing that there is enough for me too!
Doing some blog surfing today I felt awe and jealousy when I saw Jaime’s photographs, Jenn’s book deal, Kelly Rae’s success, and Danielle’s general blazing-ness. I want to celebrate their achievements and share the inspiration. Separately from that, I know that I want some of that beauty, honesty, and success for myself. Luckily I also know that there is plenty of that to go around if I work hard enough.
Roar.
What is jealousy telling you today?
This is a seriously cool post. Thank you.
I agree completely. Whenever I feel that contracting around my heart that tells me I’m envious of what someone else has then I know it is a message from my heart that I want more of that in my life. I’m learning to let go of the jealously but to pay attention to the longing and then go and find some of that for myself.
Great post! x
i’m not feeling jealous in this moment but i do feel appreciative for all of the jealousies i have felt. they do always lead me to realise “hey! i want that too!” and the really beautiful thing is seeing that if someone else did it, that makes it even more possible for me to do it – maybe they will even help me figure out how i can do it! jealousy is a beautiful guide.
Brilliant! GREAT post, love that spin, it’s perfect. I understand completely the line, “Jealousy does not take away from how happy I am for other people when they do well – I think it actually makes me a better friend – I can be thrilled for them knowing that there is enough for me too!” That is EXACTLY how I feel when I get that twinge.
Thank you for the lovely words.
But can’t you see it? That you already ARE ~*beautiful*~ and honest (each and every post, dear girl) and successful!!??!! I am jealous of your openness and warmth (the very first time I came to your blog, my first thought was, *she is so friendly…she makes me want to give her a hug and I don’t even know her *yet*)…you have a way of making people feel comfortable, like they are sitting on your couch with you having a cosy chat with tea. You are so *real*.
How funny. I was talking about this very subject with a dear friend a week or so ago…it was the first time I looked upon jealousy as a gift..but it really is! It brings you clarity about things that may not be working for you in your life, and hints and whispers at you the things you really would like to bring in.
Love this post…LOVE YOU!
xoxo
This is a great post Megg – I think you’ve tapped into a very common feeling here. Thank you for inspiring me today! xx
you make me smile!! love you much, xoxo
I love this post. I grew up with a mom who was always full of envy for other people, and I hated how she judged people based on her feelings. I could never relate, because where she seemd to feel what someone else had took something away from her, I always felt like you say! I always felt like what someone else had or did was only PROOF that it could be done and had!! If they did it, so could I. It was possible.
I like how you say it. Roar back.
🙂
Wow, this is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you! 🙂