You don’t get to game the system of your life. You just don’t. You don’t get to control every outcome and aspect as a way to never give in to the uncertainty and unpredictability of something that’s beyond what you understand. It’s the basis of presence: to show up as you are in this moment and let that be enough. – Jamie Varon
So much. So much has happened, is happening, is going on around me that today I simply sat in the middle of it and just watched it go by. Today I am feeling all of it:
the strange grief that comes when a very very old friend dies,
the profound overwhelm of finally owing land in a place where I don’t (yet) speak the language and where we have to start so close to the ground that the first thing we must do is build a road,
the pull of the new moon – whether you believe in it or not, everything that has happened to me in the past 24 months has been so in tune with the cosmos, it is impossible for me to ignore it,
the feelings of a new year – a year during which I – a wood tiger – have been emphatically warned to stay in my cave.
In total honesty, it is to my cave that I most desire to go. I want to write books and stories and then to venture out only to get my hands in the dirt that will hold my house, my labyrinth, my place. I want to love my family and friends so much that they forget that our only connection for years – too many years – has been liking each other’s social media posts.
I want to show up in every moment of my life. It’s such a cliche to go there when you are grieving someone, but I think that that is what is required to be truly ‘In Cahoots‘ with God/ the Universe/ my Life: just show up and stop trying to show up as someone better. Just show up. As. Is.
If you keep trying to show up as something better or different than you really are, you never actually just show up.
And that’s where the magic is.
So under this Aquarian new moon, when we should,
“…work with this New Moon in a different way than you would typically do so. Instead of focusing on intentions, calling things in and taking conscious action- perhaps you can stand in a place of opening, receptivity and fluidity– allowing the current of the New Moon to take you somewhere new of it’s own accord?” – Divine Harmony
… I am simply showing up as is. No intentions. Nothing to change. Nothing to be fixed. Nothing lacking. Simply open to whatever comes next.
xo
