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Cahoots, Magic


April 12, 2017


in cahoots you do not have to be good


The dictionary definition of cahoots is: colluding or conspiring together secretly.

My own definition of being In Cahoots is: secretly conspiring with the Universe.

Being In Cahoots is about learning how to actively participate in all that is the adventure of your life. And it is an invitation to play with the fact that you are – in fact – a piece of the divine, having a human experience.

So many of us talk about feeling out-of-sorts, ashamed, unbalanced, unhappy, lost, lonely, frustrated, powerless, held back, or even afraid on a regular basis.

So many of us feel like an imposter, like at any moment we are going to be found out for our big fat lie. We are trying so hard to be better, to be a light, to change our lives, and yet we still ache.

We never seem to get… there.

Being In Cahoots is about reclaiming our power and our connection with what matters. It is about realising that the ‘there’ we are looking for is actually a completely fictional destination.

This isn’t to say that all of it is going to be glitter and champagne cocktails at sunset. Shit, as they say, happens. But I firmly believe that the only power we have in any moment is choice. In every moment the power lies in how you are going to react to whatever is happening.

Being In Cahoots is about making better choices. It’s about learning how to stop chasing and start creating. It’s about a sparkle in your eye and a spring in your step. It’s about the magic of knowing that you are totally supported.

It’s about cultivating your powers of wonder and curiosity and love and then living from there. Every day.

It’s about playing with the Universe.

Do you want to play?



Cahoots, I AM

I Am Fierce with Reality

April 1, 2017
crocodiles in the river

“You need only claim the events of your life to make yourself yours. When you truly possess all you have been and done … you are fierce with reality.” ~ Florida Scott-Maxwell

There is a person that I used to follow in Instagram that I have since unfollowed. On paper she seemed like the kind of person I would really have enjoyed knowing. She had done similar things to me in that she had followed her heart and was living a life on her terms.


What she was also doing was bashing any other life; judging people who made more traditional choices than hers.

It felt yucky.

The same way it feels yucky when people get all misty-eyed when they talk to me about how I am ‘living the dream,’ while devaluing their own lives.

Their own beautiful, flawed, imperfect, messy, magical lives.

Yes, I (we) have made choices that brought us to a beautiful place, a hot place (that was a very conscious decision!), and a magical one.

But it is truly no more magical than the place we lived before. It is no more magical than the place my family lives in Canada. It is no more magical than anywhere else.

It is magical because we have decided that it is.

I never wanted this life. I did not ever put Costa Rica on a vision board. Ever. People tell me all of the time that I am ‘living the dream’, but that is not what I am doing at all.

What I am doing is not dreaming. I am actually doing everything I can to say awake.

To quote Florida Scott-Maxwell, I am “fierce with reality.” Ants and all.

I have had losses and blows and hard stuff, and thanks to that stuff I know – to my bones – that this life is rare and precious. So a few years ago I made a decision to stop being numb. I opened – widely – to Magic and Miracles. I asked for them. I welcomed them. I noticed them. I followed them. I believed in them. I participated in them. I learned to follow where they lead. And my life changed.

But first I had to find them in the life I was already leading.

Many of us are searching for something. We have been taught unease. We have been taught to want, to yearn, to feel like something is missing.

Billions can’t be made from a population who are happy and content with their lives.

Your life, right now is magical.  Read that again: Your life right now is magical. Miracles happen every single day. I don’t want you to want my life, or anyone else’s life. I want you to want YOUR life. I want you to open up so widely to your life and loving your life right now that life opens up and loves you right back.

That is my dream: to have a life filled with Magic and Miracles. Not in some distant future. Now. In the middle of my messy, imperfect, beautiful, flawed life.

After I had opened to them and began trusting them, I decided to let the magic and miracles lead the way.

And they lead me here.

No vision board required.

Don’t imagine where they will lead you. Don’t try to control the magic. Just open up, notice them, look for them, believe in them, participate in them, follow them, and be ready for an amazing ride.



Magical Freedom

May 16, 2016

So that is the final work of the exile who finds her own: to not only accept one’s individuality, one’s specific identity as a certain kind of person, but also to accept one’s beauty… the shape of one’s soul and the fact that living close to that wild creature transforms us an all that it touches.” ~ Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes

One of my favourite things to do is read magical fiction – but a very specific type of magical fiction. I like a magical/ powerful woman, a good story, and a ‘normal’ setting. Books like Garden Spells, Practical Magic, or Chocolat all make me indescribably happy. I don’t read books, I gulp them down. When I find a good one, I pretty much ignore everything else until I finish, and then I rise, blinking back into reality like a long-distance swimmer. But books like those are sometimes hard to find…

So I am only partly ashamed to tell you that recently I have recently been reading Nora Roberts.  Not only do some of her books revolve around magical women (and yes, an awful lot of romance), in a fairly normal setting, but she writes them in threes. I started with Dark Witch and now I am reading the Three Sisters trilogy.

I have been reading because I have felt drawn to be quiet. To go in. I’ve been hibernating a bit again; gathering my thoughts and my energy as I tried to find out who I was and where I fit into the world I now inhabit. I was feeling overwhelmed with all of the look-for-the-light-I’m-selling-brightness of the online world. It was getting so that every time I signed off I felt like a kid at a party who has had too much ice cream and orange pop and then played for too long on a bouncy castle: fried.

I am an avid believer in the light. In magic. In joy being our prime directive. But I am also a believer in the night. In the darkness. In balance. Without the dark, how can we enjoy the light?

But I didn’t know where to put myself. I am not and never will be a beacon of unrelenting light. I will never be a totally-committed-to-kale-as-a-drink yogi. I am also not a deep, dark creature of the night. I’m a healthy, complicated, complex and often changing mixture of all of it.

It’s an old old story, but we are still and always being sold all of the ways we are not good enough. In my opinion the current wave of wellness, goodness and light is just adding another layer to the ways we feel like we are not measuring up. Nobody. NOBODY can sustain goodness and mercy and joy and positive thoughts all of the time.

And the more I think about it the more I realize that we are not supposed to.

There is light and there is dark. There is masculine and there is feminine. There is yin and there is yang. There is night and there is day. A tree, no matter whether it grows in the middle of a field or in the depth of the forest has just as much of its energy growing into the darkness as it has reaching for the light.

It’s about the peace that comes from knowing that there needs to be balance, and that any of our trips into the ‘dark’ are not cause for guilt or shame or self-loathing, but instead important steps in our growth.

I knew it was how I was feeling, but today I got the final nudge – from Ms. Roberts, of all people.

In the current trilogy the women are all witches, but it is their differences that make them powerful as a circle. To put it simply, one is nurturing, one is about justice and one is full of passion and fire. As I read, I found myself wanting to be like the nurturing one: wishing I was the cooking, caring, kind person in my world.

I was not using that desire to see where I could grow or where there were messages for me, but instead adding guilt and shame for all of the ways I am not already there.  I was not celebrating all of my actual gifts: the things that make me special, powerful, interesting, powerful…and magical. I was not remembering my value, my power, my joy.

I was judging myself. And I finally really got that doing that was just wasting my precious time. And time is all I’ve got.

It’s not about getting there. It’s not about balance. It’s not about searching for the light. It’s about living: all in and all good. It’s about joining forces with the universe and God and your complex and very personal support squad of friends and family and angels and ancestors and guides and remembering that all that there is, all that is guaranteed, is change.

It’s about freeing ourselves from suffering over all that we are not.

It’s about having faith that by walking, dancing, creating, and yes, surviving this thing called our life, in all of its hues and challenges, we will know the true light when we see it.

It’s not about balance. It’s about freedom. 

Magical Freedom.

From my heart to yours ~ xo