“I would be safer if I was not so visible.” – Marianne Williamson
A few years ago a blogger I admired put up a post closing down her blog. I remember that she wrote that “the kitchen was bare.” I can relate to that. I feel like the things I have felt comfortable writing about are all used up and the cupboards are bare.
For the past week or so I have toyed with closing down for a little while while I sort things out. I am in the midst of doing some shapeshifting. Even now as I type I feel raw and quiet about the things that are coming up. I have touched on them before when I began telling you about the stories that I wanted to write and when I claimed the title of talespinner, but when I got to the edge of that place that felt dangerous and real, I froze up and stopped writing.
There is still a place in me that is scared to go there.
More than anything, I want to be real. More than anything I want to write things here that connect us through space. The stories that are asking to be told are strange and wonderful, but I hesitate at their edges and worry that they will be too weird, too whimsical or too much – much as I worry sometimes that if I let go I will be those things – so I put down the pen.
But my delight at images like this one and the eclectic collection I am amassing on Pinterest show just how whimsical and strange and sacred my writing could be and I realize that I am only fooling myself. I am who I am. Forgive me if it takes a little while for me to get up the courage to show you.
(I don’t know who to give credit for this image. The Pinterest link hits a dead end. If you know, please let me know and I will give credit where credit is due.)