I should have felt like a million bucks. The eating program that I have been so faithfully following told me that I would begin to feel ‘amazing.’ And a week or two ago, I did.
But I have spent the last week in bed with one unrelated symptom after another, until, kidneys aching and mind confused, I sent my husband out for drugs.
Once they kicked in and my thoughts started to make sense again, I realised that I needed to take my own advice: I needed to plug in and tune in and figure out what the heck was going on.
I needed to start thinking magically.
So I asked for help, a sign, an idea, the answers – and what I got was an intervention.
Before I tell you about that, I need to give you some backstory: I have had a case of hives off and on – mostly on – for over a year now. Most nights I get hot and annoyed and up come some hives. Despite already being off gluten (I have Celiac Disease), and eating really well, we couldn’t figure out if it was food related, so I decided to do an elimination diet. In the next 24 hours, three people I knew on FB talked about a popular elimination diet, so I thought I would give it a try. Luckily, as he is the chef in the family, my darling husband said he would do it with me.
I lost weight, I stopped bloating, I felt clearer, stronger, and way more connected. I still had hives and eczema, but everything else was feeling good. The only issue for me was that I was eating bucketloads (not really) of chicken. And a) the chicken here is definitely not organic and b) I had been almost vegetarian before this and ethically I really would like to be, so this was a tricky one.
So back to my intervention:
As I was showering and asking for this help, my husband was meditating in the next room. When I came out he said, “I can’t explain it, but I just had a very clear thought that you need to stop eating that chicken for awhile.” It felt really true for me, so I agreed. (Even if you take away the ethics of how they are raised, the sheer level of junk that is pumped into those poor birds cannot be a good (sometimes twice daily on that program) choice for me as I try to figure out my own health.)
Then I opened my Kindle app to find the book Soul Shifts open to this quote that I used in my one-day retreat: “…realise that you are eating consciousness in a fruit costume.”
Read that again: …you are eating consciousness in a fruit costume. That sentence gives me goosebumps and asks me to open in ways that I can’t even imagine. If I still had a vision board, it would be right in the middle of it.
Then I thought about Martha Beck saying, “The way we do anything is the way we do everything.”
The way we do anything is the way we do everything.
I realised that despite me believing that we are all divine and that we are all connected, despite talking about how everything – even food – is magic, and despite me being called to see the light and the soul in everything, I had given my power away.
Food – and more specifically, what I eat – is still a place where I ignore the magic, I ignore the truth, I let myself be led by fads and cravings and doctors and Instagram posts.
Food is the part of my life that speaks to me the loudest when I am not in alignment with my best self, so of course it is the part that is easiest to ignore.
And that is not what I want.
I choose to believe in Magic. I choose to see what happens when I allow everything to be Magical. And I choose to open to what I eat being consciousness in a fruit costume.
So for a year – because I need a deadline – I am going to try an experiment: I am going to treat food as the magical teacher that it is. I’m going to let myself trust it, and learn about my relationship to it. I’m going to listen to it, understand it, play with it, talk to it, and maybe even go all quantum physics on it. And I’m not going to BE anything – no pescatarian/ vegetarian/ vegan/ carnivore/ fruitarian/ only-eating-things-that-fell-off-a-tree-arian for me. I’m opening to understand – really understand – the Magic. And we’ll see where that goes.
Food is magic at its purest. So I know it is going to be my greatest teacher.