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36

October 25, 2010

“Wish on everything. Pink cars are good, especially old ones. And stars of course, first stars and shooting stars. Planes will do if they are the first light in the sky and look like stars. Wish in tunnels, holding your breath and lifting your feet off the ground. Birthday candles. Baby teeth.” – Francesca Lia Block

MegToday I turn 36.  In some ways  I am exactly the same (the desk I am sitting at right now looks alarmingly like the desk in this picture) as I was when I was small.

This morning I realize that whether 3 or 36, there is still this core of me-ness that has always been and always will be there.

I wish I could go back and hug that little angel in the picture and tell her that she is going to have an amazing life.  She is going to love and be loved.  She’s going to travel to and live in a whole different country.  She is going to experience deep loss and big joy. She is going to spend an awful lot of her money on books. She is going to have some great friends. She’s going to learn to love olives and eat too much avocado. She’s going to discover at 34 that she has Celiac Disease (that knowledge would have saved a lot of stomach aches!)  She is going to make a list at 17 that describes her perfect partner and be surprised at 28 when she finds him somewhere unexpected. She is going to cry a lot and laugh a lot and be disappointed and excited. She is going to return time and time again to her parents’ kitchen table to sort out her world. She is going to be a late bloomer in many ways that are worth waiting for.  She is always going to love to read and enjoy her own company.  She is going to be okay.

Welcome 36.  I am not going to make a list of 36 things to do before I reach 37.  I’ve learned that I don’t do well with long to-do lists because they just give me another reason to be hard on myself.  Before I reach 37 I am going to do one and only one thing:  I am going to learn to be and then practice being kind to myself.  I think if I get that the other stuff will fall into place.

Wherever you are, I hope that you have a wonderful day. My birthday wish is that you make one special wish for yourself.

Love to you.

xo

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  • Leonie October 25, 2010 at 9:03 am

    Happy Birthday sweet friend

    I love you

  • green ink October 25, 2010 at 11:03 am

    have a happy, happy day lovely lady xxxx

  • andrea October 25, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    happy birthday beautiful.

  • Paula - Buenos Aires October 25, 2010 at 1:45 pm

    Happy birthday Megg! Best wishes. 🙂

  • Danielle October 25, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Happy Birthday. What a wonderful gift to yourself. We all need to practice self-kindness.

  • Debi October 25, 2010 at 3:12 pm

    Happy happy 36! Beautifully and wisely written – and it only gets better from here!!

  • Tina October 25, 2010 at 5:33 pm

    Happy Birthday!! Your birthday wish at the end brought tears to my eyes 🙂 And I agree with Danielle above, what an awesome gift to yourself.

  • Marilyn October 25, 2010 at 6:19 pm

    Happy Birthday! i haven’t commented in a long while, but always read your posts…and this is a lovely one. wishing you a beautiful year.

  • Laus October 25, 2010 at 8:49 pm

    Happy Birthday sacred 36! Wonderful words as always and so true. Be good to yourself. What more can you say!

  • Diane October 28, 2010 at 1:28 am

    Happy Birthday! Love your blog.

  • Amber October 28, 2010 at 10:34 pm

    Happy Day to you! I think being kind to yourself is the best gift.

    🙂

  • doorways traveler October 31, 2010 at 5:18 pm

    ah! i missed your birthday. i am so sorry. sending you gallons of love and wishing you big freedom, warmth, joy, and ridiculous happiness this year and always. it was such a gift to see you this month. i look forward to so much more.
    all love to you, beautiful. xoxo

  • jaime November 2, 2010 at 3:44 pm

    Happy Birthday Sweetie!!
    This is wonderful….it tells a story of a woman who knows herself well. I love the part about not making a list because it is another reason to be hard on yourself…and I love even more the one thing you have chosen to do. This is absolutely beautiful, and so are you, my friend. xoxoxoooxxoxox