Our task is to say a holy yes to the real things of our life as they exist – the real truth of who we are… – Natalie Goldberg
As babies, we exist in a state of Holy Yes.
When we are nourished, dry, warm and held, we exist in a space that is very simply a state of yes. We don’t know about no yet. We don’t know about what if yet. We don’t know about maybe.
As we grow up, we begin to learn about no. No is healthy. No establishes our boundaries, gives us space between us and them, and helps us learn about what we like and want; how we want to feel versus how other people want us to feel.
But no isn’t always so benevolent. No also brings with it manipulation and maybe and only if. No brings questions and boundary crossing. Our no isn’t always okay if someone else’s yes is more important. So we learn to quiet or ingest or ignore or even mistrust our no. And – since nature loves to balance things out – we also in turn learn to quiet or ingest or ignore or mistrust our yes.
Our yes, then, becomes tangled with compromise. We slowly begin to forget what our really real yes feels like. Yes becomes good enough. Yes becomes I don’t know, what do you want? Yes turns into that will do.
And we forget our true yes. Our Holy Yes.
What I have discovered (with practice) is that with practice, you can get back to your yes.
And once you are better at yes, you can find your Hell, Yes.
And once you are good at Hell Yes, you can get back to your Holy Yes.
And then things get really interesting.
When Jamie Ridler and I talked about the practice I used to get to my yes on my move to Costa Rica, I was still operating on the Hell, Yes principle. But since talking to Jamie, I’ve been thinking about why we were willing to take such a big leap of faith, and I realized, it wasn’t a Hell Yes we heard – it was that we listened to our Holy Yes.
Hell Yes is get out of my way, I’m coming through! Hell Yes is watch me fly. Hell Yes has Pink as the soundtrack and is kicking ass and taking names. Hell Yes is I’m going to take that course, write that book, dance to that tune. Hell Yes is the life force that gets us moving towards the life of our dreams.
But Holy Yes is the knowing that makes you take a deep breath whenever you think about your dream. Holy Yes is knowing without a shadow of a doubt that this decision is the right one. Holy Yes knows all of the reasons why this is crazy, but it knows like it knows like it knows that it is actually the only sane choice. Holy Yes immediately connects you with the angels, the helpers, the guides and the magic. Holy Yes is the only choice you can make.
And you can make it.
All it takes is a bit of practice.